Purpose

The Committee on Ministry (COM) is a vital part of our congregational life. It strives to strengthen the quality and effectiveness of our ministry. Since ministry is, essentially, all the things we do to fulfill the mission of the congregation, the committee exists to support and promote the full range of the congregation’s activities.

We, as a congregation, own the ministry; we are responsible for its success. While the professional ministers have a strong and necessary role as leaders in that ministry, it is not theirs alone. COM members work with the professional ministers to ensure that congregation members and friends understand the values and the mission of the congregation, that they are aware of the strengths and weaknesses of their ministry, and that they remain in right relations among themselves.

COM’s focus is the whole congregation and not any one part or program. We seek to promote the general welfare, and we do not represent specific components. Instead, we want to ensure that the success of each specific program contributes to the mission of the whole congregation.

The Committee on Ministry will:

• Seek every opportunity to promote awareness and higher levels of commitment to the congregation’s mission;
• Make itself available to all members and friends of the congregation;
• Continually monitor congregational life and coordinate periodic evaluations to assess the effectiveness of every facet of the congregation’s ministry;
• Make all recommendations in a positive way, focusing on potential rather than problems;
• Respond immediately to any conflict that might have an adverse effect on the congregation’s ministry;
• Work to educate the congregation about ministry and clarify the roles of ministers and members alike;
• Model right relations and good communication within the congregation;
• Consult with the ministers, support their planning for professional development, and submit an annual compensation recommendation to the Board of Trustees.

 

Conflict Response

The COM will respond at once to any indication of conflict that might adversely affect the congregation’s ministry. Similarly, COM members will respond according to a conflict management model, to any congregant who poses an issue.

In responding to an issue or conflict, COM will seek to foster redemptive process. The committee's role is to help the parties involved to clarify their perspectives and seek mutually satisfactory solutions.

Success is not guaranteed. However, failure to address issues of concern does guarantee failure.

Practices for Conflict Resolution

Improving Our Ministry

The Committee on Ministry (COM) has an important role in the congregation, and it has no direct authority over any group in the congregation. It is in the position to make both pro-active and responsive recommendations to congregational leaders to promote congregational health.

Such recommendations may arise from periodic evaluation, from a conflict resolution session, or in a more general way.

As members of the Committee on Ministry, we encourage congregants — whether members or friends of the congregation — to share with us any and all recommendations, suggestions, and ideas for improving the congregation’s ministry.

Any actions we may suggest are geared to what is best for the congregation’s ministry, motivated by redemption and seeking reconciliation and a deeper sense of community.

 

Who We Are; How to Find Us

COM is a committee of six lay members of the congregation, elected at an Annual Meeting to staggered three-year terms with a maximum service of six consecutive years. Our professional ministers serve as ex officio members.

Look for us in Robinson Lounge on Sunday mornings. You can recognize committee members by our nametags, which bear a dove of peace in blue, as on the top of this page. You may also call or e-mail us.

Committee on Ministry
Monica Sluyter, Chair - 2012
Jane Fetter - 2013
Lynn Whitney - 2012
Michael Strauss - 2013
Jordan Corn - 2013
Anil Warrier - 2013
Rev. Bill Neely

 

Symbols. What do they mean to you?

by Cathy Stolle, Member, Committee on Ministry

Many years ago, I was driving down I-84 from Hartford to New Jersey. As I rounded a bend in the highway near the city of Waterbury, I was struck by the unexpected appearance of a huge cross on a hill overlooking the town. The experience was purely visceral, and somewhat unsettling. As an ex-Catholic who had long ago rejected the dogma of the church, I had suddenly encountered a larger than life symbol of Christianity. I had a flashback about my disillusionment with the Catholic Church and the pain that caused my deeply religious mother. It was a powerful moment and the image and resulting memories stayed with me for many miles.

Symbols can do that to you. They have the capacity to inspire or terrify, evoke happy memories or sadness. Our response to symbols is rooted in our identities and core beliefs and our personal associations with those symbols.

We identify with certain symbols such that we view them as an external representation of a part of us. Symbols are very meaningful and personal to many of us, and their use, for any purpose, is guaranteed to evoke a strong emotional reaction.

At the UUCP, we use symbols all the time – in our newsletter, as decorations, in advertisements, in RE materials, etc. – as shorthand to evoke the common meanings that these symbols have for many of us. But what if we all do not have the same response to a symbol? As a religious community, what is our responsibility, individually and collectively, toward one another with regard to the use of symbols?

When symbols or images used by individuals within the congregation have a negative impact on one or more of our members, it can seem as if the congregation as a whole condones or endorses (or at the very least, is insensitive to) the negative context of the image. Those offended by the depiction of the symbol may feel that the congregation does not value them, speak for them, represent them, or embrace them. They may feel estranged or excluded...and unintentionally so.

Symbols, like words or any other form of communication, when used (or misused) can be harmful. We as a congregation have learned to be inclusive in the written and spoken word. We need to become equally aware of the impact of symbols in our communications.

In recognition of the potential for the use of symbols to harm our community, the Board has adopted a statement of principle. This statement asks that all of us consider the possible affects on the health and well being of relationships within the congregation when using symbols in communications and to honor and respect the powerful and intensely personal meanings those symbols may have for each of us.

In this statement, the Board recognizes an individual’s freedom of expression but reminds us that, as a religious community in right relations with one another, we should consider the impact of our actions on the rest of the community. As UUs, when we use symbols (or the written or spoken word), the First Principle of our religion should inform our sense of what is appropriate under the First Amendment.

The statement by the Board is consistent with our UU principles and one with which, I expect, we can all agree.

Does it mean that the Board intends to control personal expression? Not at all.

Does it intend to raise our consciousness regarding the use of symbols and remind us of our expectations with regard to one another in a religious community? Certainly.

• Does it imply that we are knowledgeable enough about every member of the congregation such that we will never use expressions that might offend? Impossible.
• Does it imply that we should not use symbols intentionally to shock or offend and that any offense, if taken, was unintentional? Yes.
• Does it mean that we, the members of the UUCP, do not condone and do not support the use of symbols or other forms of communication that are offensive or might reasonably be expected to offend other members of the congregation? Absolutely!

At the UUCP, we seek to build a religious community in right relations with one another. Right relations are based on respect and trust. Our respect for one another inclines us toward a caring relationship that promotes personal growth. We trust one another not to harm that relationship or, when harmed unintentionally, to hear each other’s concerns.

As we continue to strengthen our sense of community at the UUCP, let us covenant with one another to be respectful and courteous in all forms of communication and to work together to seek redemptive solutions when disagreements or misunderstandings arise.

From the Governing Policies of the UUCP The UUCP Board of Trustees affirms the individual’s right to act according to conscience in respect to those symbols that represent national and religious identities. While there is no doubt regarding one’s individual civil rights, a larger responsibility ensues when participating in the life of the congregation. The Board intends that congregational participants consider the effects of their actions on the health and well being of relationships within the congregation. In our mission statement, "we commit to love, respect, and nurture each other in our lifelong spiritual journeys." In the seven principles of our faith, we affirm treating each other with "compassion," and an "acceptance of one another." In this regard, the Board expects all participants in the congregation to assume a stance of mutual respect that includes national and religious symbols, which for many are part of core identity.

 

Right Relations

by Cathy Stolle, Member, Committee on Ministry

Since joining the UUCP, I have been pleased to be a part of a group that creates, sustains, and grows as a religious community. Part of that growth has involved embracing ideas or concepts whose meaning was not immediately apparent (at least not to me). However, I soon realized that incorporation of these ideas would enhance a sense of belonging to this religious community.

One such concept is the notion of "right relations". How do we define "right relations"? There could be many descriptions or definitions of right relations, but essentially it has the elements of a healthy interpersonal relationship - one that is courteous, supportive, respectful of others, open and honest. It is one in which we all can express our deepest feelings, ask difficult questions, and be our most vulnerable. In short, it is one in which we feel supported and "safe" from abuse or mistreatment of all kinds: verbal, psychological, physical. A community that is in right relations is one that is healthy, supports personal growth, and works together to promote our ministry.

Surely we at the UUCP, in light of our stated core beliefs, practice right relations, don't we? Often, yes, but not always. And it cannot be assumed that we all will at all times. Interestingly, it is how we handle disagreement and conflict that says the most about how well we practice right relations, since, it is in times of conflict that pressure is greatest to depart from the standard of courtesy, support, and respect that we normally show one another.

Why, then, are right relations so important? When people gather as a community for any purpose, they, of necessity, must define the ground rules they will use in their interactions. Whether written or unwritten, everyone expects that there will be boundaries and rules for maintaining social order. This sense of social propriety in a religious community is our covenant with one another. Of all the communities or social groups to which we may belong, religious communities carry special implications or expectations for social behavior. In religious communities, there is an expectation that we will be treated according to the highest standard of moral and ethical conduct. In a liberal religious tradition such as UUism, right relations are crucial for a sense of community and wholeness.

What can happen when a congregation does not practice right relations? In the worst case, there may be an individual who is physically or verbally abusive toward others. In another case, the behavior may be more subtle but no less intimidating. There may be someone in the congregation who dominates group meetings to the exclusion of others, someone who is excessively demanding of church resources, someone whose disruptive behavior makes it difficult to conduct church business, or someone who presses unwanted attention (sexual or otherwise) on another. Such behavior can create a hostile environment that can leave others feeling uncomfortable, intimidated, or even threatened.

The impact on a congregation that does not practice right relations can be severely detrimental. Some members of the congregation may feel so uncomfortable that they stop participating fully in congregational activities, avoiding encounters with "problem congregants". Others may even leave the church. Those who stay may be demoralized by the presence of individuals whose uncontrolled behavior dominates the life of the church. Failure to correct inappropriate behavior may be taken for tacit approval, resulting in a continuation (or worsening) of the situation. The religious and spiritual growth of the congregation can be stifled by the disruptive behavior of such problematic individuals (or even by the well-meaning, but poorly thought out, intervention of congregational leaders).

What can a congregation do to ensure right relations? Those in community should agree on what type of behavior they expect from one another and what type of behavior they will not permit. These expectations should be incorporated into a policy, and that policy, along with actions to be taken when inappropriate behavior is encountered, will outline the appropriate response when right relations are violated. Failure to develop such a policy leaves the community slow to respond to a problem and responding without agreed upon guidelines, which can raise questions regarding how fairly or equitably the problem was handled.

Right relations - the assurance of interacting with everyone in the congregation with respect, support, courtesy, and honesty - is a critical element for building a healthy and vibrant religious community. It allows our members and friends to be whole and to be fully connected. The Committee on Ministry, which was established to monitor the health of our congregation and the effectiveness of its mission, can assist in addressing incidents when these principles may have been violated. But, in reality, all of us in the congregation have a role in assuring that the principle of right relations is followed throughout our congregational lives.